Bush's UN Speech; A Translation for the Ignorant

A stunning slew of BS if you as me;

"Americans are outraged by the situation in Burma,"

Oh, I can score some points if they think I actually care.

"The people of Lebanon and Afghanistan and Iraq have asked for our help, and every civilized nation has a responsibility to stand with them,"

Well not so much the people, the puppet governments are begging for us to help so they don't have to worry about, you know, fighting themselves. The Bush Doctrine; Invade a country and then use the excuse "they asked us to do it"

"Every civilized nation also has a responsibility to stand up for the people suffering under dictatorship, In Belarus, North Korea, Syria and Iran, brutal regimes deny their people the fundamental rights enshrined in the Universal Declaration" of the United Nations."

Fundamental rights, such as the right to privacy and the right to free speech are optional, of course.

"The nations in this chamber have our differences, yet there are some areas where we can all agree, When innocent people are trapped in a life of murder and fear, the declaration is not being upheld. When millions of children starve to death or perish from a mosquito bite, we're not doing our duty in the world. When whole societies are cut off from the prosperity of the global economy, we're all worse off."

So long as they have untapped oil in their countries that I could get my hands on. Otherwise, I'm sorry your life sucks, (I'm looking at you Darfur,) but I'm a little busy right now trying to change an entire culture.

"Changing these underlying conditions is what the declaration calls the work of larger freedom and it must be the work of every nation in this assembly, This great institution must work for great purposes: to free people from tyranny and violence, hunger and diseases, illiteracy and ignorance and poverty and despair."

That is, until I go back to Texas and blast this place as a bunch of Anti-American sissies because you won't except me as your unconditional lord and master like my birth rite says

"In Cuba, the long rule of a cruel dictator is nearing its end. The Cuban people are ready for their freedom. And as that nation enters a period of transition, the United Nations must insist on free speech, free assembly and, ultimately, free and competitive elections."

And they're ready to be exploited like child prostitutes by corporate America; Hilton Hotels, American Airlines and Carnival Cruises. Ah, just think, South Florida will be white again someday.

"The American people are disappointed by the failures of the Human Rights Council, The United Nations must reform its own Human Rights Council."

We're not happy the rest of the world doesn't see it the same way I do. That's a problem, because I talk to the God and he's says I'm right.

"The ruling junta (of Myanmar) remains unyielding, yet the people's desire for
freedom is unmistakable."

And if they had any oil, we'd accuse them of building weapons of mass destruction and invade them, but we can't profit off of the country, so I'll just sit there and bitch.