Thoughts on the Virginia Tech Tragedy

I think the first thing that jumped into everyone’s minds today, when it became clear of the extent of today’s massacre, was the shocking tragedy that occurred just eight years ago this Friday; the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado. I had planned on writing up something like this on Friday in remembrance of the Columbine tragedy, but in the wake of today’s events, now is probably just as good a time as ever.

I was a high school sophomore when Columbine occurred. It changed my entire high school experience. After that, there was a different aura around my school, as was the case in most, if not all, high schools. It seemed the deans didn’t trust students anymore and students looked around wondering who would “do it here?”

I can remember sitting in the hallway with my friends in the days, weeks, months, and even years after Columbine watching some of the Goth students with suspicion. We had a list; a list of the most likely suspects should it happen “here.” I remember sitting in Geometry class with another friend, as well quietly discussed how we would hide, barricade the door, or run to the North staircase if someone began shooting in the hallway outside. I remember the discussion about the possibility about putting in metal detectors.

Some of us felt safe. A private Catholic high school in New York City; it wouldn’t happen here, just in “redneck rural America,” secretly we weren’t so sure. We weren’t so certain it couldn’t happen in our high school. We had the loners, the bullied, and the tortured, just like the rest of them. We had the cliques, the jocks, the popular groups and the unpopular “freaks.” They existed here too.

Even after I graduated high school and went to college, it crossed my mind. Would it be in this building? If it is, can I jump out the window? Where will we hide? If it happened somewhere else, how will we know? Will I be able to get from here to my car without having to pass somewhere where I’d get shot?

I never obsessed over it; only thought about it rarely. The tragedy is, however, that it had to cross my mind. I’m sure it crossed other people’s minds too. Columbine changed my generations’ views on school. They weren’t 100% safe. We could be shot in our classrooms. We could actually be SHOT while sitting in our classroom. It was a staggeringly frightening thought.

Still, we went on. We had our high school dramas, our proms, our dances, our detentions. We had our teenager lives and our college experiences. We had our keggers, our happy hours, our fraternity and sorority mixers, and our dorm parties. We lived normally, despite the fact we were the first generation that had to really worry about the possibility of being shot dead in our school; that just going to learn can get you killed.

Here’s an interesting realization; the freshman class of 1999, the first full school year after the Columbine massacre are graduating college next month.

Let’s hope and pray that our children will not have to live with the same fears we did…and that we, as parents, NEVER have to relive the horrors we did as teenagers, but this time perpetrated against our own children.

Just the thought gives me the chills.

Marriage: Bleh

Is it any surprise marriage rates are dropping?

You're seeing a generation that has lost faith in the institution and while they like the idea of living that American dream lifestyle, that's really all it is...a dream

You're Really Not THAT Special

Finally, a study has proven what I've been saying for years...We're making our children to self-centered and narcissistic.

"We need to stop endlessly repeating 'You're special' and having children repeat that back," said the study's lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. "Kids are self-centered enough already."

This whole concept of telling kids endlessly that their special and there's no one like them has good intentions written all of it, but as a child myself in the early 1990's, even I realized it was a little bit over the top.

It's great that parents want to increase their child's self-confidence, but there's a thin line between teaching our kids self-confidence and then teaching them they're perfect, special and that people should worship them.

It is when they hit college, the truth begins to clash with that they've been taught for years. They're not so special or so perfect after all, but they fight, because they believe they deserve everything they want because they're so damn special.

It's time to tell our kids the truth...you're great, but you're not special, you are going to have to earn what you wnat and people don't have to pay attention to you.

I feel like mine was the last generation in which parents took responsibility for their children. Today, you hear parents tell teachers "my child wouldn't do that" or "Not My Son/Daughter"

It makes me worry about the next generation that takes over.